I’ve been informed by the internet that if you have a blog, you’re required to do an ‘end of year’ post. Though I’ve already (so eloquently) rounded up 2016 amidst fool proof Kylie Jenner memes, I do think it’s appropriate to tell you all how to live your 2017.
With the new year a mere few hours away and everyone this side of it committing to new diets, drinking bans and or cutting ties – I think it’s important to start. shit. now. If you’re anything like myself, you’ll be super pumped for the new year because with it brings a fresh start. Now I’m not talking about all of that “new year, new me” crap, because it’s bull… let’s be frank. But along with the changing digits, comes new jobs, new opportunities and new friendships… perhaps?
So here it is, the ‘how to live your life in 2017’ guide in 9 simple steps:
- Eat fruit: I’m told it’s good for your body or whatever
- Live your life like Naomi Campbell: But you know, don’t throw a phone at anyone and end up on community service
- Give back: If you see a homeless person and have a little spare change, give it to them! You were only going to spend it on a lousy can of Coca-Cola anyways, and everyone knows coke is bad for you. Fruit however, is good. (see point 1)
- Find an outlet that frees you: Be that jogging, writing or Tai Chi, find a hobby that relieves you from the stresses in your life
- Confide in your compadres: Admittedly something I’ve struggled a great deal with, tell your friends when something is up! That’s what they’re there for, duh
- Get some rest: If you need a nap, take a fucking nap. You’re no good to anyone as a coffee-fuelled-sleep-deprived-babbling-half-human
- If it feels good, DO IT: Holidays, spoiling your close friends, eating an inordinate amount – if it makes you happy, just do it. (I assume many will associate this point with intercourse, and I’m okay with that)
- Own your fucking space: True, you may not be as close to your dream as Serena Williams, but you’re still the best whatever-it-is-you-want-to-be and you will get there, just let people know how awesome you are.
And it’s important you take this one on as truth!
- With so many budding new businesses on the horizon and so many great ideas blossoming, it’d be fabulous if you (I’m looking at you kid) could support others a little more. With even a simple like or even a retweet, it all goes a long fucking way. Don’t be totally selfish
Well, see you, on the other side.