Inevitably, at some point in your life you will absolutely need to seek advice from a third party, before discussing things with your other half. It’s just a part of life. But who do you turn to? Do you entrust your friend of five minutes, whose been with her partner since the dawn of time? Or perhaps you enlist the help of a serial-dater? Or better still, the friend whose been in a relationship for a week, but is adamant he/she knows it all. Difficult to know isn’t it? Like, where does one begin?!
By now, you will all have seen the hilarious (and incredibly catchy) video, of a grime artist repeatedly asking the question of who, what, where and how, ingeniously using 3 of the 5 W’s. So, using ‘Devz Da Artist’ creative lyrics I’d like to illustrate whom to take direction from, and the potential outcomes of particularly bad relationship advice.
Wait hold up, let me roll up. What what what where?
Much like purchasing new shoes, one must always ask advice on whether or not to make the final click. A lesson given unto us by Gretchen Wieners of Mean Girls, and a lesson never to be taken in vain. For those of you who’ve never seen the iconic film, the quote literally reads “Well, I mean you wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you”. And it’s true, what if we’re about to make the biggest mistake of our lives and our closest pals aren’t around to help push the detonator? JUST ASK FOR SOME GUIDANCE SWEETIE.
Who and what and where? Who and what and where?
Blah blah, it’s recommended that you shouldn’t involve anyone else in the relationship, blah blah your problems should remain between the two of you. But often, it’s necessary to consult someone separate from the relationship to analyse a few things. You know, from the outside looking in. More often than not, you won’t realise how silly you’re being in a situation. It isn’t until a friend says “Yeah no… you’re being stupid” or, the far less likely “No he’s being a twat, let him have it”, that you’re forced to look at things from a different perspective, and everybody needs that.
I find that this advice is best sought from those who’ve either experienced long term relationships, but are now single or more trustingly, friends currently in long term relationships. After all, they can advise on what not to do, you know, from experience or whatever.
How did we get right here? Like nah nah nah.
As we all well know, bad advice can be a prerequisite to either a bigger feud with your spouse, and or with the party dishing out the advice. As someone who has taken guidance from fellow train-wrecks, I will tell it is no picnic being in the doghouse. Like, none at all. Bad advice has the potential to kill relationships dead. DEAD. I admit that on one or two occasions I’ve suggested ‘just talking to your partner’ because I would probably blow have blown that sitch to smithereens. Be wise, know when to advise.
Most importantly, I’m not a relationship coach and nor are you. Unless of course you actually are, in which case… carry on I guess.