Ritual of Rae Birthdays

Maybe it’s because I’ve become incredibly miserable in my old age or perhaps this is just the way it’s always been, but I absolutely hate my birthday. Every year I kind of dread the day, so it doesn’t help that it’s exactly 16 days after the New Year and three weeks after Christmas. Hey life, I’m done celebrating! Give me a break.

Everyone always seems more excited about the day than I do asking: what we’ll be doing, whether or not they’re invited and how much it’ll cost them. But the stress of planning birthdays only adds to the reason why I hate it. Which is why this year, I plan to run away for it! (so I’ll enjoy it by being away from the birthday madness).

In my youth my mother would splurge and give us the best birthday experience but I still always secretly hated that the attention was on me for an entire day. This of course is excluding my 21stwhen I enjoyed all the cameras in my face because I was caked in makeup. As a kid I always ended up in tears at the end of my sleepovers because there was always one friend who tried to make my ‘all about me’ party, all about them.

I feel like 90% of birthdays are for other people to celebrate, is it ever reaaaally your day? Or simply a day for other people to pretend that you mean more to them than you actually do. You’re kind of stamped as weird or offensive if you choose not to celebrate it in an elaborate way. Answer me this: Why would I want to celebrate a day that highlights my ageing? I sound extremely cynical for someone only turning 22, but I guess you’ve got to learn young. Think about this, in school you brought chocolates/sweets in on your birthday and if you didn’t you were some kind of antisocial weirdo. It irks me a little to think I gave goodies to children I didn’t even really like to be accepted on my own day of birth, ah life before the digital age aye.

A lot of the time, my day is used as a confession box for ex-lovers, flings and could-never-have-beens to message me filled with regrets. Like seriously? Trying to make me feel even crappier about my crappy day, thanks for your empty well-wishes guys.

This post is basically in answer to the question:

“What are we doing for your birthday?”

Simply put: feed me cupcakes, supply me with beer and give me gift vouchers and or money. Allow me to kick back and celebrate like the royalty I was so obviously meant to be. Much like Rih.

Unexcitedly yours,
Lauren Rae


 

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